


safe

by rewrite_a_million_dreams



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Phillip Carlyle, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Phillip Carlyle Needs a Hug, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Whump, Worried P. T. Barnum, again based on my own experiences, bad memories, but based on my own experiences w/ nightmares/ptsd, mentions of scars, might not be accurate depictions, phillio whump bc im a bad person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 03:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17014929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rewrite_a_million_dreams/pseuds/rewrite_a_million_dreams
Summary: He felt as though he were trapped by his own mind, his own fear. He was feeling everything at once, but didn't know if he was screaming or not, and wasn't sure if the hot tears rolling down his cheeks were real or just his imagination.What he did know was that now, someone was touching him.





	safe

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy some whump!! its 4:04 a.m. currently n I couldn't find anything else to do w/ my time

It was a cloud of hazy memories that were smothering him. As his chest tightened, Phillip could feel himself running, but what was he running from? Where was he? He was looking around, frantic head jerks in every direction, eyes wide, a terrified look on his face. Everything around him was distorted, blending together, merging with each other. 

 

He stopped when he saw the face of the man that had appeared suddenly before him. The man that was everything that the devil wished he could be. Phillip was on the ground now, shaking as the man took a step forward. “My boy, we taught you better,” His father's voice rang in his ears, sounding as though it was coming from all directions. 

 

His heart was racing. He was shaking like a leaf, tears pricking his eyes. He felt everything, but was trapped watching in third person. He didn't look like himself. For one, he was shirtless- something that didn't seem right. He had never paraded himself around without at least shirt and jacket. His hair was all over the place. Bruises covered his body. It was so vivid, even as everything around him and his father fell away, leaving nothing but darkness.

 

His father took a few steps around him, stopping just behind Phillip. He froze, feeling something hard and sharp and heavy and hot press against his back, right between his shoulder blades. The searing heat caused him to cry out, arching away from it. The burning pain only worsened as his father twisted the end of the cane against Phillip's skin, before pulling away with a dark laugh, getting ready for the first strike. Just as he heard the crack behind him and felt the first blow, Phillip's eyes widened-- 

 

“No!”

 

He was screaming now, eyes wide as he sat up in bed. He couldn't see anything, it was too dark, but he could feel it. He was burning up. His chest hurt. His back was extremely painful, the memories dripping down his scars, the pain seeping through. He was shaking, and as he brought his hands up he gripped fistfuls of hair, tugging harshly.

 

He felt as though he were trapped by his own mind, his own fear. He was feeling everything at once, but didn't know if he was screaming or not, and wasn't sure if the hot tears rolling down his cheeks were real or just his imagination. 

 

What he did know was that now, someone was touching him. 

 

Everything came crashing down not a second later. He blinked his eyes open, suddenly aware of a lamp that had been turned on on the other side of the bed. He cried out immediately, ripping his arm away from whoever- or whatever- had it in their hold. His head was cloudy, hazy, and he couldn't seem to focus on a single thing. As fast as he could, Phillip backed up away from the other body, his knees pulled close to his chest. He curled over, covering his ears, eyes shut tightly as the sobs wracked his body, his forehead pressed against his knees. 

 

It was a long while before Phillip had enough coherence to make out a voice, and even longer to figure out what it was saying.

 

“Phillip, Phil-- baby, come back to me... Hey, hey, shh, it's me- you're safe, no one is going to hurt you,” The voice whispered, and Phillip slowly lifted his head, taking deep uneven breaths as he stared at Phineas. 

 

Phineas, the love of his life.

 

Phineas, the man who he knew would never hurt him. 

 

Still, he shied away from the gentle pressure of Phineas's hand on his shoulder. Phineas seemed to get the hint, opting to move in front of him, far enough away that they weren't touching but close enough for Phillip to reach out if he needed to. 

 

“You're safe here, Phillip- it was just a dream, alright?” Phineas spoke softly, looking down into Phillip's eyes with a worried look. “I won't hurt you. I love you. You're going to be alright.”

 

Slowly, Phillip nodded, sucking in a ragged breath. He slowly moved his hands to rest on his knees, staring down at them. “I-I'm safe,” He repeated in a shaky voice, quickly wiping his eyes. “Y-You-- You won't h-hurt me.”

 

“That's right,” Phineas whispered, hesitantly moving closer. Though Phillip didn't seem to think the closeness was ideal, he didn't move away. Instead, he slowly leaned his head against Phineas's shoulder.

 

Only a few seconds later, when it became apparent that the contact just wasn't enough, Phillip moved quickly. He settled himself in Phineas's lap, arms wound tightly around him, gripping the back of Phineas's soft nightshirt. Phillip hid his face in the crook of his neck, taking in a deep breath as Phineas's arms wrapped around him. 

 

The embrace was strong. Heavy.

 

Safe.

 

They sat like that until Phillip's heart had stopped racing, until his grip wasn't so tight. It had to have been at least fifteen minutes, but he knew it was probably much longer. He slowly pulled away and looked down, clearing his throat before rubbing his eyes. “I- I’m sorry, Phin--”

 

“Do not apologize for this,” Phineas said softly, cutting him off. He reached hi p, gently wiping Phillip's cheek with the soft pad of his thumb. “You did nothing wrong, my darling. Nothing. You're alright, you're /safe/, and that's all that matters right now,” He whispered, giving Phillip a reassuring grin, before slowly lying back. Phillip slotted into the space next to him, Phineas's arm wrapped around his waist. They couldn't have gotten closer even if they tried. Their legs tangled together, keeping Phillip close, grounded. He was grateful. “You look exhausted, my love. Try resting. I'm right here, I won't leave your side,” Phineas murmured, and Phillip slowly nodded, his eyes closing. 

 

Phineas decided that they would talk it out whenever Phillip was comfortable. He watched with a soft smile as Phillip slowly drifted back into the peaceful sleep he deserved, gently kissing his forehead, before whispering, “I love you, Phillip. Goodnight.”


End file.
